Saturday, December 26, 2009

So you know I how I like it to be perfect?

It was.

And it wasn’t.

I felt a little homesick on Christmas Eve.  7 Christmases in a row in Atlanta.  I miss my family and I miss the snow.  It got better though.  Good company will do that.

The month of December started a little rough too, but got better.  Linnea is in my arms nearly all day, every day.  If she is not, she is crying because she wants to be there.  So, I can only do so much.  A week ago, I realized that I was being a grump and there was no way I was going to get everything I thought I needed to do done.  So, after confessing to a friend and my hubby my extreme grumpiness, that had been mostly about things being messed up or destroyed by the kids and dog, I decided I needed to do better and adjust my expectations. 

I realized what a fool I was for actually getting out ornaments that I care about.  Maybe next year I’ll remember to limit the breakables.  Birdie, keeps chewing things and I can’t stand it, but really, what did I expect?   Between the boys and Birdie I have felt overwhelmed by the mess.  Although I want my house clean, my kids don’t care (obviously) if the floor is actually clean or not.  So, I decided to just aim for tidy.   I had already let go of the idea of my tree looking lovely.  It doesn’t, but it looks like my kids have really enjoyed moving ornaments and gifts around.  I never hung up any holidays cards we received or put a ribbon on the wreath on our front door, or even decorated our mantel (it is full of ornaments that need repair).  I didn’t light any candles or keep up with our advent calendar.  We didn’t deliver our holiday cards to our neighbors with cookies, like I have in the past, I just mailed them instead (no cookies to share).  

But I know none of that matters to my kids.  I thought about what they would remember about Christmas time.  I didn’t want them to remember me being stressed out.   I’m pretty sure they will remember the gingerbread houses we made, the cookies they decorated and immediately ate,  helping me with the one batch of cookies we served after Christmas dinner, me singing along to Christmas music, fires in the fireplace, and maybe even the homemade pajama pants I gave them Christmas Eve.

Christmas was truly a wonderful day.  My kids were thrilled about every gift they open.  We stayed home all day.  Dan’s parents came over for a few hours and had an early dinner with us.  Other than gift giving, I felt like I was in the  kitchen all day, but at least for some of it, Dan was able to spend time with Linnea.   I wear her all the time, so I appreciate a little break, especially while cooking and baking.

Other than the gift giving, it is all about the food around here.  We had homemade cinnamon rolls, with eggs and bacon for breakfast.  Then we had crab bisque, roasted pear with arugula  salad,  a hot prosciutto, turkey or roast beef sandwiches on homemade baguettes.  All pretty good, if I do say so myself. 

I really enjoyed Christmas and the week leading up to it.   I love this little family Dan and I have created.  I love that Dan indulges me in every way.  I might be getting a bit spoiled.  Sometimes I feel little guilty complaining about tough days.  I got what I asked for: 3 kids and a puppy (92 lbs and still growing).  I guess I didn’t realize how hard it would be without my family (mom) around.  I try to savor it all, because I do know it won’t last forever, but I could use a breather every once and awhile.

Anyway, I feel lucky and grateful every day, but I will readily admit, I’m usually tired out too. 

Happy Holidays and thanks for checking in us here!